No one should spend Christmas alone, but people with a learning disability may feel excluded during the festive season
Wed 18 Dec 2019 03.27 EST
Christmas used to be a very lonely time for me. While I was lucky to spend it with my family, I didn’t have a big network of friends to go out with. Spending a lot of time stuck at home made me feel sad and made the festive period disappointing.
Christmas is all about spending time with family and friends, but this holiday cheer can make people feel lonely if they don’t have anyone to enjoy it with. This happens far too often for people with a learning disability like me: we can find it difficult to get out and about independently, frequently feel excluded from social events and can feel even lonelier.
There are 1.5 million people in the UK who have a learning disability, and new research from Mencap shows that nearly a quarter of us feel lonely a lot of the time. Shockingly, ONS data has shown that this is seven times higher than people who do not have a learning disability.
A lack of understanding about learning disability means we often face stigma and discrimination. This only puts more barriers in the way of us feeling included and stops us from living the lives we deserve.
For many years, I didn’t feel confident enough to try to make friends and I felt anxious travelling alone. When I first started to apply for jobs employers automatically underestimated my abilities, making things even more difficult.
I was beginning to give up hope. But everything changed when I was referred to Mencap through my local job centre in 2014, which turned my life around.
Mencap’s supported employment programme helped me develop skills and gave me training so I could travel independently. It also helped me gain work experience.
By 2015, I had found a job one day a week at Wetherspoons and in 2017 I started working four days a week at Mencap. Now I have my dream job working as campaigns assistant at Mencap, where I work with others to help improve how hospitals treat people with a learning disability to stop them from dying earlier than the general population.
I now get out of the house and I have made new friends through the staff football team, Mencap FC. I am much more confident and independent. I’m also part of the charity’s running club. We’re charity of the year for the 2020 London Marathon; we’re so excited to have this opportunity to talk about the stigma around learning disability, not just to the 40,000 runners but also the millions of people watching.
Support services like Mencap’s programmes help people with a learning disability feel empowered and included in all aspects of our lives. From inclusive sport through to supported employment programmes, and friendship schemes through to personal support, these services help us increase our independence, feel a part of society and stop us feeling lonely.
People with a learning disability shouldn’t be lonely at Christmas or any other time of year, yet not enough is being done to help. We need more action from the government by making sure its loneliness strategy recognises disabled people experience high levels of loneliness too, and invests in public services and programmes that support people with a learning disability to live their lives to the full.
I’m lucky to have broken free of loneliness, but let’s help make sure thousands of others can one day say the same. You can support programmes like the one that helped me, or even volunteer your time to make sure these programmes can reach others with a learning disability and ensure they don’t have to spend Christmas alone. Everyone’s Christmas is unique, but no one should spend it by themselves.
This Christmas, I won’t be stuck at home; I will be going out with friends. I’m looking forward to going bowling, for drinks at the pub and to watch football on Boxing Day. But most of all, I’m looking forward to finally feeling included.
• Vijay Patel is a campaigns assistant at Mencap
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/dec/18/christmas-loneliness-learning-disability
