August 3, 2019
In parenting corner this week we talk about comments that parents of
children on the autism spectrum often have to listen to from family, friends,
colleagues, even random strangers that are meant well, but should never have
been said in the first place. Words that often unintentionally hurt or upset.
These comments may seem innocent enough, but they can touch a nerve. Here is
a list of some of the things that you should never say.
Raising a child comes with many challenges. When it’s a child on the autism
spectrum, the challenges are more and these are compounded by the attitudes
parents encounter often from well meaning people.
It’s not just strangers, even family members and friends can ask the weirdest
of questions or pass insensitive comments. Sometimes they are unintentionally
said, often they are meant to hurt.
Today, the world regards Pratibha Bhatnagar‘s 27-year-old
son, Akshay as a success, but when he was diagnosed with
autism as a child, it was a different story. Akshay, who is employed with a
private firm in Jaipur, has many awards and recognitions to his credit, but
Pratibha can never forget the hurtful comments from relatives.
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law used to insult Akshay a lot with
comments like ‘stupid’. They even said they would have killed themselves if
they had a son like Akshay. I would cry a lot and feel terrible but I made
myself stronger. I wanted to show the world that Akshay can be just like
any other youngster and I worked towards making him independent.
–Pratibha Bhatnagar, parent of adult with autism.
Such comments are clearly cruel but there are statements people make with the
best of intentions that can seem unkind too. Here are some that should be
avoided at all cost.
Mumbai-based Archana Patil, whose son Jatin
has autism is exceptionally good at academics. But he has got here with a lot
of struggle. Archana had to change many schools because of the insensitivity
he was subjected to.
“We had to keep changing schools for him because he was constantly harassed
and abused due to his condition. We finally got him into an inclusive
school”. Many parents even questioned whether Jatin was actually on the
spectrum as he had won a scholarship. “It was an insulting statement”, says
Archana. Even today, Jatin’s grandparents and many relatives have not
accepted him.
So, instead of saying the first thing that comes to your mind, try saying
this instead – I don’t know much about autism but would like to know more
when you feel like talking about it.
ALSO READ: What causes autism? Some information
Source: https://newzhook.com/story/things-you-should-not-say-to-parents-of-children-with-autism
