August 4, 2019
Parents of children with disabilities or disorders like autism,
cerebral palsy etc. need to devote considerable time and energy to parenting.
Does this impact their relationship with spouses/partners? Yes it
does.
Every child is unique and has different habits, ways and abilities. It is for
the parents to find the strategies that are to be used in day to day life.
Some days can go by smoothly while others can be challenging and tough.
Naturally the parents not only have to become aware about what the medical
condition implies, they also need to understand the individual needs of their
children.
A child with disabilities influences the dynamics of a family. While one
parent may take over the role of primary caregiver, the other may not get
involved a lot. This can cause stress on the marriage and bonding between the
families particularly if there are other children.
Denial, blaming each other, getting angry, feeling helpless, financial
pressures are some emotions that parents may experience when the child is
diagnosed with a medical condition. These negative emotions are natural and
need to be faced and not suppressed however, it is also advisable to ensure
that they are not permanent. The reaction to an autism diagnoses will vary as
every person feels things differently.
“Parents need to work together and support to be able to take care of
children. The whole responsibility cannot be out on one parent only and it is
a joint efforts, “says Ananthi Kathir, a parent.
Here are a few things for parents of children with disabilities,
disorders to consider:
Staying positive is the key to deal with any negative situation.
Talk to each other and share your inner thoughts, not hide them.
Get more information about the child’s condition as it will help bring
some clarity.
Make a list of priorities and act accordingly.
Talk to the siblings of the child and explain the condition to them,
create awareness.
Seek support from family and friends when you feel stuck.
Understand how you can support each other by performing different roles.
Join support groups where you can interact with families like yours.
Take out some time for each other every now and then.
Do activities together as a family as that will bring you closer.
If it gets too bad, talk to counselor and try to find a solution.
Don’t be ashamed of feeling tired or negative at times, it is natural.
Take care of yourself, a happy you means a happy family.
Shashi Rekha is a working parent from Chennai and says that
understanding each other is important.
At times, personality differences, lack of communication may cause the
partners to remain unaware of what their spouse are hoping through
emotionally. Support of family can make a huge difference too,
unfortunately many a times, this support and help from other family members
is not forthcoming. Shashi Rekha , parent
Remember no two days will be same, there will be days when you will feel lost
and incomplete. Be easy on yourself and your partner. Every relation goes
through ups and downs and these are times when the strength of love is under
test. Keep the faith and be strong!
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Source: https://newzhook.com/story/understanding-disabled-children-family-dynamics
